Home now with the fam. The little nieces are so cute. So fresh and innocent. Mom is baking cookies. Beaver is under the sink trying to fix moms water filter. I'm playing the guitar by the fire and singing with the little nieces. Old Cary grant movies playing on the TV.  

Sometimes my heart aches for a deep romantic love relationship and family of my own. but I see what Beav and T are dealing with now. its constant attention out. and me, I'm in a world that is constant attention in. That's funny, I get paid to spend a lot of time alone and write and sing about it. Last night I was showing everyone slide shows from my laptop of my various adventures from this last year—we had such a wonderful time---and while I'm doing that they are combination in awe of it all---“you did what at an all night sex club?! We didn't even know things like that were legal. Mom close your ears.” “Dudes, let me tell you something. everything is legal. Just depends on who you’re hanging with and how much money you have.” And then having to obsess over every move the two little nieces make every second. Don't touch that. don't put that in your mouth. Do you want your bottle? Its time for you to eat. no no no don't pull on that. and I'm like, there's just no way I'm there yet. Uncle Fishy do you want to make a parade with me now? and I'm like, oh what a great idea. And then after a minute I'm like o.k. enough. time for uncle fishy to go play his guitar honey. And they just sit there while I play and dance around. Loads of fun. Easy breezy being an uncle, but to be a father? Crazy. not yet. 

Their cute faces are so adorable when they look up at you and smile. Children are so amazing. but mes wants to go hunt animals in wild safaris in Africa and work on a kibbutz in Israel for a few months and live in a quaint little one room chateau on the French Riviera by myself smoking and writing and composing and falling down drunk in my bed every night with my clothes still on. I know, such simple goals. And of course I am dying to get out and tour the states this year too. So the kids thing is not going to happen just yet.

But it does get me a little sentimental I must admit. Seeing Beav and T so happy and such a tight little unit. It sets my heart a soaring. Somewhere out there is the perfect one. perfect for me. perfect for her. Perfect for us where we both are now. 

Current Read: Reverence for life, selected writings of Albert Schweitzer. Those to whom good things happen in their lives must feel called upon to give of their lives in order to alleviate misery of others. 

Current Spin: lots of Christmas CDs by Johnny Mathis, Barbara, carpenters, Frank and Bing, Elvis, Mariah Carey, beach boys. Good times indeed.