Monday, February 09, 2004

“Hello sir.”
“Hello”
“How would like to begin?”
“I’d like to know what the hell is happening to me right now?”
“I hear an echo. Might I ask where you are now?”
“I am in the bathtub...”
“You are in the bathtub on the phone?”
“Yes. oh how wonderful. Water is a great conduit of energy. You are a true artist. that's good.”
“So what the hell is going on? What is this that I am experiencing?”
“You are in the void right now sir. You will be here until June or July.”
“O.k. great. I know this. But what does this mean, in the void? And could you please stop calling me sir?”
“Very well. Unfortunately spirit says there is not much you can do about where you are now. You are in a period of great transition. Are you changing careers at this time? Spirit indicates there is a change of careers at this time.”
“I don't know what is happening. Feels like nothing. That's why I am speaking with you.”
”So you are changing careers?”
“I am.... I don't know. I am aimless. I left a lot of things last summer. and now I am wandering... not literally, but in my mind and in my heart. It feels like I am searching.”
“We are always searching young man...”
“Perhaps. But for the last eight years I have been flying. Just kicking ass, and then all of a sudden, sometime last year, all that changed. Its like everything just seemed to come to halt. And now, I am not sure of the direction I am headed in...”
“I can see that. a question. Your mother’s mother is passed on yes?”
“Yes. many years ago. have you spoken to her?”
”Yes. She is looking out for you. She has a message for you.”
“What is it? She was my angel. I loved her madly. She was always the one who was in charge of everything in our family. The sane one.”
“She is still very much in charge. Even from the other side.”
”So what did she tell you?”
“She told me to tell you to get over yourself. Get out of your own way.”
”Oh she said that? well... that sounds like her alright. what the hell does that mean?”
“You will know in time what this means? Why do you not trust now?”
”I don't know what to trust now. it all seems so random. Everything is up in the air.”
”And why can you not be o.k. with that?”
“How the hell am I supposed to be? I’m a thirty year old man. This is not o.k. for me to be wandering around not knowing what the hell is going on with my life...”
“Oh my! You are just a pup. Do you know that Mick jagger is 61 years old. Elton John is 60 now. Both of them are also my clients you know. And you. You are only beginning to see what you can do. you have not even seen your true potential yet.. that is coming.”
“Mick jagger and Elton John are rich as hell and by the time they were my age they had already achieved their goals. That is totally not fair to use them as an example. They’ve got nothing to do with me...”
“You need to trust what you are going through. You need to trust spirit. Do you know that you are not going to be a bagman? Spirit has told me to tell you this...”
“What is a bagman?
“Like a bag lady. You are not going to be on the street. As you are afraid of.”
“You can see that I am afraid of that?”
“Spirit can. And it is not a concern for you. it shouldn’t be.”
“Well that's good. well I sure as hell would like to know what’s going on then...”
“Spirit says you need to write. Are you a writer too?”
”No. I don't think so. You know I'm a singer. But I write a lot anyway. it is a therapy.”
”One doesn’t know what one is sometimes. You need to be writing now. through all of this you need to be writing. It will be helpful to you and to others.”
”Well good. I'm glad there is something I can do. That I can do.”
“You are a light bearer young man. Why do you not understand this? Do you know what this means?”
“I have heard it before. Many times before. I used to believe it, but lately... If I'm such a light bearer, then why do I feel so lost? I'm not bearing any light lately.”
”And you won't. not now. You are in the void now. Until June or July, you will then come out of this phase... you are transitioning.”
“There just isn't any magic now. I used to live this bright eyed life filled with joy and magic. Now I feel as if I am outside of my life looking in. No magic. What can I do to help this thing move along a bit?”
”Nothing now. You need to let go of that. That is the ego. Just let go. and witness. You need to let go of the mental chatter of the ego and trust this process...”
“I am mad at God. This process is boring and stupid.”
“It is o.k. to be mad at God. Do you know that? God understands. He has a wonderful sense of humor.”
“So you believe in that? In God?”
“Of course. In spirit.” 
“Well I don't. Not now.
“You don't even mean that.”
“O.k. fine, maybe I don't. But I'm still mad. What am I supposed to write about?”
“It doesn’t matter. Just write. Write about where you are. Where you’ve been. Write about how you got here. How you feel now. What you’ve learned over the years....”
“I could write about what I've learned... I could do that. I have learned a lot.”
“That will be very good for you. You will need to keep your energy levels high in the coming months. There will be many demands on you. Everything will come at once. And it will be hard for you to say no to anything. There will be much demand on your time. you will be traveling from city to city...”
“Well it doesn’t take a spirit medium to tell me that. But how do I get there?”
“You are a feisty young man...”
“I am a frustrated old man...”
“You are not old. You are just beginning. You will be around a long time. Do you know that? I see 87 years...”
“Oh now that's funny. You are telling me I am going to be around for another sixty years? that's crazy. who wants that? for God sakes. Say it isn't so... why do I feel like I am dying then?”
“You are dying now. That is why you are in the void. That is what the void is. you are going through a death phase of the old you. you need to let it go.”
“Yeah. O.k. I can feel that. So what can I do? I am bored with this death thing. I need some action.”
“There isn't much you can do.”
”Should I travel?”
“You may do whatever you want to. Just as long as it is for no more than four months.”
“Good. then I will travel. I hate it here. I will travel and I will write.”
“You have two houses? Where do you live?”
“I live in Miami. I only have one house.”
“You will have two or more houses. This year. You don't live in new York?”
“I want to. But my band is here... “
“I see you in new York. You will live in New York. Do you see that? I also see you out west. Will you be living in California or out west? Why do I see this?”
“You’re asking me? I don t know... you're the psychic.”
“You will be living out west also. You will have lot of money.”
“Well good. I need lots of money. Anywhere but here. Too many memories... its not for me anymore.”
“You can shift that. It does not matter where you live. you can choose to change the vibrations of your home. You can choose not to associate with those memories any longer. Do you know how to do this?”
“Yes I do.”
“I know you do. You know all of this. Why did you seek counsel from Spirit? This is what you already know.”
“Well sometimes knowing things is different from knowing things. You know? I need direction.”
“Your direction is right in front of you. You need to allow yourself to open up to the new you. you are growing tired of who you are being and who you have been.”
“Yes. o.k., fine. I hate all that new age stuff. Who am I now?”
“Only you know this. I believe that you know. You will need to trust this now. As your grandmother said, get out of your own way.”
“What a goddess huh?”
“She is a lovely woman.”
“Yeah I liked her a lot.”

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