Went to the ENT doctor today to test my hearing and check the old vocal cords. The hearing test was fun. they play all these very faint and brief tones for you to see if you can hear them. it was rather primitive from an objective perspective. But I heard every single one and the nurse just stood there speechless. The doctor relayed to me giddily that I had the hearing of a seven year old child who had never been subjected to any loud noises. He said he had not seen anyone ever come in with such perfect hearing. He was absolutely amazed because of the extreme loud music that I have been listening to over the last ten years. I can only imagine what your hearing would be like if you had not been subjecting yourself to such loud music for all these years...” he commented. I was very happy and we were high fiving.

Then we moved on to the vocal cords. He shoots this spray down your throat and then sticks this long thin fiber optic cord into your nose and then through the nose down into the throat and then past the throat in order to look at the vocal cords. It is not comfortable. I kept gagging. Then he had me sing some notes as he watched and I gagged... but to our astonishment my cords were in perfect order. No polyps, no nodes, no swelling.

“I hate to tell you this young man, but you have absolutely nothing wrong with your vocal cords. In fact for what you do they are in amazing condition. Just perfect.”
“well then how come they close up on me sometimes.”
“You probably scream too much. And you probably don't warm up like you are supposed to.”
“Well that's true.”
“Imagine a professional athlete going out to play a game without practicing all week and warming up that day, and stretching before the game. You just can’t do it. even though you want to. its not going to work. You need to warm up.”

He said that when I do sing and it feels like my throat is closing up that it is because I am screaming too much, which it doesn’t take a doctor to figure that one out, and that the cords swell up. that the only thing to do is to rest them. I explained to him that this is pretty hard to do when you are on stage singing. So he gave me a steroid spray to use when this happens and he says he hates to do it but he understands. Steroid sprays for singers are like shooting an athlete with a pain killer and telling him to go play on a sprained ankle or dislocated shoulder. You can do it but in the long run it will be worse. But I took the prescription anyway just in case.

We also discussed ears and Q-tips. He said to throw them away. get them out of the house. they don't work and they push down all the wax into the ear canal where it can start blocking the ear drum. “well then how come they sell them?” I asked. “Well... how come they sell cigarettes?” he replied.

It was a marvelous visit and we shared much in our brief time together. He told me he was very jealous and that he wished he were a singer in a rock band. I told him he shouldn’t be jealous, that in fact it was not half as glamorous as its made out to be, and that if I could come back and do it all again I would be a football player in the NFL.

Later on went to Zekes to finish mixing the new album. almost done now. tomorrow we meet with this company that wants to sign the band to management. They have flown down from Chicago. We shall see if they walk their talk.

Last screening: the importance of being Ernest, the late seventies BBC version. Again.