Meeting with new press agents in Boston, MA. At one point she asks me, ‘is anyone in the band gay? It will help get you get more coverage in the gay publications.” “well I have been called a lesbian before...” “Really?” “Well yeah, you know, because I like girls and all...” “Bill what's he talking about?” “I mean, not sexually or anything, not yet anyway, but I do get my nails done.” “Well that's good for a start.” “Oh, yeah, and I did have sex with my dance teacher once... but we were pretty drunk.” “O.K., but you're not gay?” “Well no, I mean you can’t let not being gay get in the way of doing somebody you’re into, you know?” “Uh o.k. bill did you get that?” “Got it.”

“That will have to do. What's the deal with the whole ambassador thing now? Which one of your multiple personalities are we promoting? Are you the ambassador? Or are you Fishy?” “Uh, I would say that you are kind of acting as general liaison for all of us...” “Who is all of us?” “Umm, you know, for the ambassador for sure, and for Fishy and for the band as well... Depends on who you're talking to I guess.” “Fine. Who the hell is Ed Hale then, who was on the band’s last CD but now has mysteriously disappeared from the band’s name? Is he in the band or out of the band? Was that just a “jethro tull” thing you guys were pulling?” “Like you say, yes that was kind of a ‘jethro tull’ kind of thing. You know, there really was no Ed Hale. But we thought it sounded cool. But yeah, we’re just going to use Transcendence now if that's cool with you guys...” “Hey its your band. We like the idea of course, easier that way. Has a ring to it. What else? Anything else we can use? You doing any marches or protests soon? Those are always good.... gay rights is big these days. You doing any gay rights stuff soon?” “Not that I can think of... not off of the top of my head. Why what’ve you got?” “We’ll think of something and let you know. And listen Fishy, can you stop with the political rants in your diaries for now, if you can. o.k.? They’re not helping. We’re not going to receive the kind of crossover appeal we need to push this mass market if you’re alienating half the population out of the gate.” “Well what if I can’t help it? I mean isn't that the whole idea of it?” “Of what? I'm not sure I know what you're saying. Bill what's he saying?” ”Don't know. Fishy what are you saying?” “I'm just saying, isn't that the whole idea of us doing all of this, so we can get the message out?” “Fishy, this is about your band’s music. That’s what this is about. Why does every rock star have to be a politician? Can’t you just play music?” “But didn't you just tell me to be in more marches a second ago?” “Yes but that's totally different. Hey, marches are great PR, don't get us wrong, but you're not supposed to actually say anything, and these insane political ramblings in those diaries of yours. What are you trying to do? Get yourself killed?” “I'm just trying to tell it like I see it... you know. But if I do get myself killed that would be good PR wouldn’t it?” “O.k. you're insane. Bill I told you he was insane.” “Nah I was just kidding. Sort of. Anyway...” “Frankly I think you should stop them all together. Just leave it to the imagination.” “What? Stop the diaries?” “Bill what do you think?” “It could be a good thing. Let it simmer for a while. Build the story, rather than writing it.” “I couldn’t have said it better myself. Fishy what do you think? Can you stop them for a while? Just stop publishing them maybe?” “I don't know. Can I think about it? Do you guys have any cool grocery stores here? I gotta take a walk. I'll let you know about all this...” “That's it Fishy? Where are you going?” “I told you. I'm going to a grocery store. I gotta think.”


Off into the crisp Boston air. It is true. I have become slightly obsessed with grocery stores lately. My job is insane. This whole thing is insane and nothing calms me down and brings me back down to earth like walking around a grocery store. So I'm supposed to stop with the diaries for a while... wow... that's some heavy shit. I'm sick of Fishy anyway. He wasn't supposed to last this long. I know that. But still.... I got into the limo and made my way to a local grocery store to have a walk around. See what the beautiful city of Boston had in the way of grocery stores. You can always get a good sampling of a city’s women by heading to their grocery store. Chose star supermarket. Spent most of the time trying to locate a few Starbucks double shots for the morning flight out. On my way to the beverage aisle I spotted many beauties with baskets strolling casually down the aisles. Women in Boston... some of them breathtaking. That whole New England vibe, with the scarf around the neck thing... classic. Very American white bread. I found a bag of sugar and for no real reason decided that I would attempt to balance the bag on my head while I walked around. I'm not sure why. but it was fun. I figured that if I saw the ONE and I had this bag of sugar balancing on my head while I was walking around and she saw me she would immediately know it was me. found a few double shots and headed for the bakery department. There I would charm the ladies behind the counter and get to sample a whole host of cookies, cakes, and tarts.

So I'm standing there eating all these little cookies and pies and making small talk with one of the little ladies behind the counter and she starts emptying the trays of pastries into big garbage cans while I'm sampling some chocolate covered strawberries actually. “Well what the heck are you doing there?” I ask. She says “throwing away the expired bread products. “ “how old are these poor expired bread products?” I ask. “they were made this morning,” She says. “and so you're just throwing them away like that? shouldn’t we be giving them to homeless people or something?” I ask. The garbage cans were getting filled one by one. I couldn’t believe it. “No we can’t do that,” she says. “against store policy.” “well hey I wouldn’t mind taking them and distributing them to the homeless hungry people myself. Do you guys have homeless people here in Boston?” I ask. “Yes thousands. but you can’t do that.” “why not” “we could get sued.” “well then I won't tell anyone where I got them from.” “sir you'll have to speak with the manager...”

so off I go to the main counter to speak with the manager. I ask the lady behind the counter for the manager. She calls the guy and they are speaking. pointing to me. probably saying something like ‘you mean that guy standing over there with the bag of sugar on his head? What the hell does he want?’ But we end up having a good conversation. But there was no way I could talk him into letting me walk out of there with all these garbage cans filled with expired pastries. It was nuts. He said its too risky. You give a homeless guy a free pastry and two months later you get sued because he says he got sick because he knows they are expired. “But couldn’t I buy a pastry now before it gets thrown into the garbage. I mean they’re still good right? couldn’t I buy all of those pastries if I wanted to?: “Yes you could. You could certainly do that sir.” “So why would anyone entertain a law suit about a product that is still fresh enough to be purchased?” “People are law-suit happy in America. Don't ask me. But it is against store policy. I know that much. Can’t tell you more than that. Can I ask you a question?” “Yeah sure.” “Are you that singer? Lisa over there,” he points to behind the counter, “says you are...” I look over at Lisa who is staring at us smiling from ear to ear. Forefinger point, thumb down? Forefinger point, thumb up six shooter style? The Fonz? Conservative wave? (after all we are in Boston) Peace sign? I decide on the horizontal love sign, two middle fingers in, pinky, thumb, and forefinger out. I flash it in her direction with a reciprocal smile.

“So what brings you to town? You guys have a show?” “PR meeting.” “Oh yeah. Yeah. Hey can I ask you another question? If you don't mind?” “Yeah sure.” “Why do you have that bag of sugar balanced on your head?” “Oh that? Sorry. I forgot about that. that's funny. Hey good for you. that's some serious management etiquette there. not to mention that to a potentially disgruntled customer that they have one of your bags of sugar on their head. Impressive. I just figured I might meet a girl that way.” “With a bag of sugar on your head?” he looks at me perplexed. “Well you gotta figure, if a girl is cool enough to pick you up or even speak with you when you're walking around with a bag of sugar balanced on your head in a grocery store, that's probably a pretty cool girl, you know?” “Yeah, I see what you're saying. I'll have to try that sometime.” “Well I don't know. it doesn’t look like it worked for me, so don't take my word for it... Hey now its my turn to ask you a question.” “What is it?” “Give me a garbage bag.” I smile at him, Cheshire cat style. “That didn't sound like a question. What do you want with a garbage bag?” “You know what I mean. Just give me one.” I smile. “filled with pastries and everything. I'll go to the back of the store.” He looks at me and smiles. “I could lose my job over...” I smile. “O.k. fine. Go outside and walk around to the back of the store. I'll meet you. It was good meeting you.” “Good meeting you too.” we shook hands and I bailed.

I head out to the front. “Hodges, we’re going to the back of the store.” “Find everything that you were looking for boss?” Hodges asks. “Yep. But we have to head around the back of the store for a sec. I gotta pick something up.” I grab a mammoth white garbage bag full of pastries and other assorted expired bread products. Throw it in the back of the limo and hop in the front. “Alright Hodges. We’re cool. Lets go to where all the homeless people live?” “Well theoretically Fishy, homeless people don't live anywhere.” I laugh. “O.k. I know that. But lets go to where they sleep and hang out then. It’ll take five minutes.” We drive. We pass out pastries to black hooded zombies and hunched over winos. “Life is sad” I think as my eyes meet some of theirs. Lost, dazed, confused, desperate. But then I reflect on what we’re doing here in the moment and I think, “but life can be good.” I am feeling God right now. In this action. I look up to God and smile and say ‘thank you.’ I look over at Hodges who is also passing out pastries to a herd of five or so people huddled around him. Shoving them in their pockets with one hand and shoving them into their mouths with the other. “But life can be good....”

In the back of the limo. Tired. Window rolls down. “Boss. You sleeping?” “no Hodges. I'm still awake. Good times huh?” “Yeah. Good times. That's what I was thinking. Its good to be back.” “Its good to have you back Hodges.” “Boss.” “Yeah.” “What happened anyway? Where have I been?” Good question. Almost three years have passed with no mention of Hodges my limo driver in the diaries. “Hodges. I gotta be honest. It wasn't you who disappeared. I just stopped writing myself in the limo.” “Why? You love riding in the limo kid.” “I know, I know. I don't know what happened. I think I was trying to find myself. I became a normal person for a while. ever since Cleopatra...” “I heard about that. I read about it. Tough ride there kid.” “Yeah. I just didn't see it coming. You know Hodges, I never even wrote her into the story. There never was a Cleopatra. so when she came along, I don't know, I just stopped writing all together. I made notes though.” “Good stories coming up kid?” “Yes I believe so. Definitely.” “Good to hear kid. did you find yourself? Since I was gone?” “I don't know yet Hodges. That's a good question though. I'm somewhere between me and Tobias now.” “You and Tobias? “Yeah I guess...” “Isn't he that character from the other book you're writing?” “Yeah, he was. But things have changed a bit since you were in the story. It turns out that he is not just a character. He's real. Like you and me.” “Well I’ll be goddamned. But what's that have to do with you kid? Don't tell me...” “Yeah you guessed it. He's taking over.” So where will you go kid?” “Me? I'll still be here. But I'll be Tobias Guess. Something like that. I don't have it all worked out yet. But don't worry. Tobias likes riding in the limo just as much as I do.” “That's a good thing. I was bored shitless the last three years kid. Sitting on my keester doing nothing. You could have at least giving me a few walk ons or something kid...” “Well I'm sure you’re right. what the fuck did I know Hodges? I didn't know I was writing The Adventures of Fishy. I thought I was writing my own diaries. I just lost track of who I was there for a while. But I'm back now.”  “Boss.” “Yeah.” “Next time you decide to stop riding around in the limo, let me know first. Maybe I can find another job or something first.” “yeah that's not a bad idea. Hodges?” “Yeah kid?” “You ever think that if I wasn't writing about us...” “think about it all the time kid. I'm just glad you're back writing about us now. get some sleep kid.” “O.k. thanks. Thanks a lot Hodges.” “Don't mention it kid. Glad to be back.” Window rolls up. The irony. Weeks before I'm about to kill myself off for good, and I bring back Hodges the limo driver, my most faithful and trusted companion...

In the back of the limo, I went online to do a search for grocery stores and I can’t believe that so many other people are as obsessed with them as I am. This is a recent forum I saw with all these thousands of people talking about grocery stores. This is a strange country we live in indeed.
http://www.able2know.com/forums/about14145.html