Uncle is in the hospital. Already had quadruple bypass surgery a few years ago. He's only 65 years young. Crazy. I spoke with him today on the phone. He tells me that he knows that I am a freak and don't believe in heaven and hell and all that, but that three times now he has had visions of the black hooded creatures mumbling gibberish coming to get him. I told him that I believed sincerely that if that's what he believes that then that is exactly what he will experience and invited him to change his beliefs and maybe he would like to create something a little bit more pleasing or appealing for his near future... he said with all due respect that I was crazy and that reality was reality. That we can’t change it, no matter what we believe. Which of course is exactly what he will experience, since that's what he believes. So in the end, he’s right. and so am I.

Hard for him to breathe due to severe chest pain. But he tells me, “listen Fishy, I know you're going to be leaving soon for your tour. If I should die, while you're gone, I don't want you to feel like you have to come back... I don't want you to mess up what you’ve worked so hard for your entire life just to come to my funeral. No matter what anyone else says. You hear me? I'm proud of you son.” I didn't know what to say. I just played it cool. “Well I don't think we have to worry about that uncle. Lets just see what happens tomorrow.” I said.

If that weren't enough for the shit of all days, little did he know that just a few hours later we were told by our booking agent that the European tour is being pushed back more. More waiting. The usual crap. may not leave for another month or more. I didn't have the heart to tell uncle. If he is going to die, then let him die thinking I'm out there successful. Let him go out with a smile on his face. I just couldn’t tell him.

Current Read: studying morocco still. what's great about it is that as you begin studying one country and one time in history, you are soon learning about a lot of other countries and eras too; just keep cross checking and skipping around throughout history, playing catch up to references they make to one country or another. So everything begins to tie together more. all the pieces coming together hour by hour. Words that were once nameless faceless random and mysterious now make sense: carthage, the berbers, the semites, Byzantine empire, the crusades of course, Constantinople, Phoenicia (our modern alphabet comes from them.) fascinating. It goes on and on. History has become an obsession.

One cannot help but think of the current American political scene from an historical viewpoint while studying the history of so many other countries. After watching the recent Fahrenheit 911 film, and now knowing what we know, after the horror and shock subsides a bit, the question is, what do we do about it now? what can we do as a people to bring things back a bit to a fair playing field?

In the good news department, Kerry chose Edwards as his running mate. So we may have a chance. [and again, I say this not as a democrat, which I'm not; but just as an American.] let the solemn reluctant hero, call him the heavy bear, and the happy go lucky farm-boy in there for a while. hope is on their side. At least you get the feeling they're honest folk.