Friday, November 12, 2004

Finding myself filled with anger over the Juliet creation. The more I try to deny my feelings the more angry I feel. I find myself staring at people in the subway stations with hatred in my eyes, like a Tiger ready to pounce. I know what this is. I recognize the symptoms. Whenever you deny or resist things within yourself it leads to this kind of nagging painful feeling. You see it in people who are not entirely honest or present at all times. Their hearts and minds are so occupied with what they are resisting that they get all wrapped up inside themselves and so they can’t be in the moment. can’t be present with other people. so that's been me the last few days. I swear to God if she would just give me the word I would ride out there on a big white horse with a big iron sword and see what all this was about one way or the other.

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