Recreational Drug Guidelines

How to make it to the crystal palace and make it out alive
[For creative junkies only: If you want to learn the art of little wonders, you study little wonders from someone who has done it so much that they have managed to turn the recreational use of pills into an art form. We are primarily discussing barbs, downers, pain killers, and opiates in this article. Today we learn that there are four or five absolutely essential guidelines to always bear in mind in your exploration:

Guideline number one, don't take pills whole for your initial dosage; this is not the best way to first enter into the crystal palace. [You will know when you are about to reach the crystal palace because you will first enter the land of forgetfulness. More on this later.] Break or bite them in half and even in quarters, and take them every half hour or so, rather than all at once. This allows a slower climb up, or down, as the case may be, depending on what you're taking.

Two, the key to maintaining any good pill buzz is to suck, not swallow. This guideline in particular is hard, pardon the pun here, for many people to swallow, but it is well worth mastering this one. Rather than swallowing your initial dose and any that follow, place a piece of the pill under your tongue, and allow it to dissolve slowly. Yes it tastes disgusting at first, but your body will quickly begin to associate this foul taste with the magnificently rewarding feelings that will soon follow. And soon you will welcome that taste. Similar to your very first taste of coffee. This method allows almost one-hundred percent absorption of the chemicals through the oral mucosa of the mouth lining, rather than allowing a lot of the active chemicals to get eaten up by the body’s stomach acids. In turn, it also takes you there a lot faster, almost instantly, rather than having to wait the usual fifteen to twenty minutes for the pill’s active ingredients to pass through the digestive track and enter the bloodstream to take effect.

Guideline number three: Don't OD. I know, sounds simple enough, but still, plenty of people forget this one every year, and end up asleep forever. That’s why the slow piece by piece method works best. Remember, you're goal is not to take pills just to get high for ten minutes, pass out, remembering nothing the next day. Your goal is to relax and enjoy the ride, enjoy the land of forgetfulness on your way to the crystal palace, where you can enjoy easy access to a seemingly infinite supply of creative flow and positive energies, accompanied by cool body sensations, an almost total ignorance of anything else going on around you except your own slowly meandering thoughts. This state can easily be achieved on one pill if it’s the right dosage, especially if the piece by piece method is used. You don't need to take a handful all at once. In fact, only novices do it that way. [or loser junkies: those that do it for no other reason than just to get off, rather than for creative exploration. Different group altogether.] A totally professional creative junkie type can stay high on painkillers all day without anyone ever knowing it and by the end of the day maybe only have taken one and a half to two and a half pills total throughout the day. Good pills will fuck you up. that's why you take them. there is a certain sense of confidence and invincibility and a fantasy mind set that sets in and that's what makes them so dangerous. Because there is always the potential that you will suppress either the central nervous system or the respiratory system so much that you could die and not know you're dying, guideline number three is an important one to remember. Be careful. Use, don't abuse.

Guideline number four: bad trips can happen. Doesn’t matter what your little wonder of choice is, now and then you may just encounter a bad trip. Paranoia or getting freaked out or feeling really depressed or sad or guilty. Two things here. Short term: just like with acid or other hallucinogens, remind yourself that you’re on drugs and none of this is real. That's why you took the pills in the first place; to forget reality temporarily, so remember that. This isn't reality. Think nice thoughts, don't feel bad, and maybe just go to sleep. [If this happens a few times this could mean that you’ve burned out the receptor sights in your brain that react to this particular chemical the way you want them to, i.e. total happiness or creative flow. Best thing to do here is either stop taking pills altogether for a while. a few months perhaps. Or change pills. In the perfect world, we could have access to any pill we wanted any time so we could switch all the time and we wouldn’t encounter this problem so much.]

A note on throwing up—not for the squeamish: every now and then you may find that you have to run and go throw up. Chances are you just took too much all at once and haven't mastered the slow climb as in guideline number one. granted that this isn't an overdose, which if it is you are fucked—I have heard from other unfortunate users who hadn't yet mastered guideline number four that getting your stomach pumped really sucks, then having to throw up is not necessarily a bad thing and you should definitely not let it throw you into a bad trip. Chances are, once you are done throwing up, you will be so high that you will feel the best you have ever felt. That's the crystal palace. Everything should look all glassy and sounds take on a very singular slow motion spoon hitting a champagne glass type of quality. That's why we call it the crystal palace.

Guideline number five: this used to be part of number four but due to its importance it has now been relegated to its own very special guideline number five: Don't feel guilty. Remember the Transcendence Manifesto. http://www.transcendence.com/army/army.html Never feel guilty. Waste of time. [This isn't to say you shouldn’t feel regret when you fuck up and transgress or hurt yourself or someone else. Cause you should. If you don't, then chances are you're socio-pathic and you should leave these diaries now. But just don't waste your time feeling guilty. Clean your shit up. Say your sorry. Make amends and try harder next time not to be such a douche bag.] but guilt is different than regret. You only have one life. live it and love yourself. A lot of people can give you a hard time for being a pill junkie if you share this info with them, which you shouldn’t unless you have an endless supply because then they're going to want some, unless of course it’s a hot chick, because seriously, I don't know why this is but hot chicks love pills, and there is nothing like steamy dreamy sex with a hot chick when you are floating down the crystal river on your way to la la land. Just try not to drool on her if you can. But back to the guilt thing, the point is that only you know if you are abusing or not. If you're cool and you're not abusing and you're just having fun and getting creative, letting off steam or easing stress, creating great works of revolutionary art, than by all means why shouldn’t you be able to use your drug of choice? Every crew cut jock and short haired suit in America is out there two to three nights a week getting hammered on booze---their drug of choice. So you like pills. If you let societies’ judgments get to you and you start feeling guilty it can have a real negative effect on you and can ruin a perfectly good high. So remember who you are. And be proud of it.

Guideline number six: For many people this can be the hardest one to remember, but it can be the most important one: remember that if you do take pills consistently for a few days or weeks at a time, they are going to build up in your system, and they are going to exert a certain effect on your mental and emotional state of being during that time even when you think you are sober, or not high. This is the part that really sucks about them. It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard, or what some doctor said, or what you read in the PDR, or any other reference book, the chemicals build up in your system, especially the good ones. Even if you haven't taken anything in two days, you still have some of that valium or xanax or X or delaudid or percocet or vicodin or mepergan (ahhh the wonders of modern medicine) floating around in there. The point? The point is just to remember that. If you find yourself getting depressed, don't start thinking that YOU are actually depressed. Because YOU are not. Remind yourself that you just have a shitload of this chemical in your system that has built up. If you find yourself getting forgetful, or clumsy, or irrational, or more easily irritated, don't start freaking out and taking it seriously. This is the worst thing you can do. Don't take it seriously, and don't think that its YOU. Its not YOU. Its you on drugs. Big difference. Instead just realize that this is a side effect of the chemicals that have built up in your bloodstream. Remind yourself of this and usually this is enough to bring you back down to earth.

At this point you have essentially two choices: stop completely and come down—come down effects don't usually last more than a week and can usually be relieved by moving to some herbal relaxants for a few days, or just being tough and dealing with it. Your other choice is to take more to stay high enough to not care that by now you are a lazy drooling babbling laughing or crying most of the time idiot who can no longer spell or speak coherently or drive or eat or type very well. These are the side effects of taking them for too long of stretches. (think liza Minnelli--- a classic pill junkie, or her mom, who mixed with booze—bad mix by the way. or Elvis, a classic pill junkie who forgot rule number three.) If you're smart you know what you're doing. Be smart and enjoy the ride. But remember its definitely better to take breaks from the little wonders now and then. It can really make the difference. This last guideline can probably best be summed up with the words ‘don't get hooked on anything.’ So enjoy the ride but do what you have to. go clean for a while which is always nice for a change. Or switch to booze which can always be fun in a kind of look at me I'm a stumbling around babbling idiot who doesn’t care about anything kind of way.