An absolutely full day. from morning till night.

I had made a comment about making love to every beautiful person one found, imbibing the most expensive and delicious wines and liquors, and eating the richest chocolates of the earth at one point I was speaking with someone who had made a comment about me still being very much a ‘man of the world’ for someone who ‘prided himself on his ‘transcendence.’ I responded, ‘But I am a man of the world. I wouldn’t know what else to be. here. in the world. that's where we are. we’re in the world. I have learned, as many before me have, that no amount of religion or spirituality can erase or negate the fact that we are entirely alone here, in the world, nearly dying from our longing for any evidence of others here with us or even a mere suggestion of why we are here or where we are going. all we know is this world. why not be a man of the world we live in? leave the afterlife for the afterlife.’

I realized this fact very clearly this holiday season hanging out with my brothers wife's grandparents. Yes I said grandparents. They are both are in their eighties... how much will knowledge mean to them? how much will everything they have collected in their lives mean at this point to them when all they are concerned with now is how many days they have left here on earth, in the world?

Thought about this again in the bestbuy store today. looking at all the people in line holding their various cds and DVDs they were buying... how useless I thought. Collecting things... this life is so short... why bother collecting things... when we die we will not be taking anything with us.

This may change one day. perhaps God will show up. perhaps passed on humans will show up. perhaps aliens, other intelligent life will show up. but for now, this is all we know. life without cause or intention. Death without desire.

Current spin: cat power, Free. I dig cat power a lot of the time. but a whole album of hers can drag on so long and monotonously that after a while you feel as though you are going to have to shoot the stereo if she doesn’t shut up. many good songs on this one though. It would be great if she just expanded her palette a bit more...