Wow what a day. non stop phone all day long for twelve hours. A little business; a little pleasure. Has to be because it’s the new year and everyone is getting back from vaca. Lots of cool talks with friends. Which I love. A totally full day on the phone which was great because I just got back to the city and have so few friends here so the days can get lonely, all work and no play type of thing and I'm so not used to that back in Miami. even spoke with the lovely Juliet. I must say my heart overflows with love for her. at this point I have no idea what kind, but I'm happy loving her just like this without definition. Our conversations are like roller coasters, just really fun and joyful, bouncy rides filled with laughter and the occasional deep thought thrown in for fun. she shared with me where when we were together there were a few times when we would look at each other, when our eyes would meet, and it felt to her like we were looking into the eyes of someone we knew for millenniums (millennia?), she says; as if we knew each other since we were protozoan. [Gotta be one of those science terms I missed out in high school skipping classes to go smoke cigs.] But what a beautiful thing to say. Some people you just love in this lifetime because you love them. and with other people its like you're feeling something deeper, something older happening, something lifetimes older.... following the scent as she says. Looking for clues...  some people follow us through lifetime after lifetime I believe.

But things are flowing in the universe since I've been back. today was fucking action-packed. and it’s a wonderful feeling to be back in my life.

A new one: “when the bong goes, the money flows.”
Not to be confused with last month’s classic, “The bigger your network, the bigger your net worth.”

I’ll tell you I hear certain music and I get so pumped up about this record company idea. I need to be able to constantly create as an artist myself. But I love the idea of branching out into signing other artists that I love and getting their music out there. it just juices me bigtime. My whole body is pumping right now from listening to Dean Fields and Jim Camacho. They are both amazing. how to get the effing money? man I don't effing know. I have spent so much of my own money on this label now. I am flat broke by all accounts. And had plenty of money to start. But still for some reason I want to persist in it. its passion. that's all you can say. Its just passion.

Last screening: Basquiat. I liked this movie better the second time. good acting by everyone involved. But again, I am tired of the dying struggling artist legend. Too easy to suffer and die early. I want to be able to continue to live the full-on artist lifestyle but do it healthy and enlightened. This is possible. We do not have to die for our art. We can live for our art.

Current spin: pity sing. A new band. early eighties multi-layered vibe. Early eighties music is coming back full swing now. modest mouse, franz Ferdinand. Its all coming back. its that twenty year cycle thing.

Hey Jules you goddess you angel you warrior,
I am glad you emailed. I swear I was getting a bit worried about you actually. Thinking maybe something was up. was going to call again. perfect timing that you emailed.

Unconditional love.... Actually I think we were there all along, longer than we thought. According to this lady’s ‘seeing.’ (she's a channel...) Evidently we were together in a last life (if you believe in past lives – I am not a hundred percent sold on the notion myself)... but not as lovers. We are both according to her very old souls very spiritual... (don't have to be a psychic to tell me that...) We were in a monastery together in France. You were a nun and I was a priest and we had a deeply intense connection. She saw that we spent years and years together talking life God religion philosophy Jesus etc... and had a very deep unconditional love for one another like brother and sister. That we always wondered what it would be like if we consummated our love in a romantic way but never did. so in this life, I was picking up on that. (since I was kid no less...!!!)

she said that the feelings we had, or that I had, were very natural and it was wonderful that we went for it and I flew out there to explore it. she said that the vibe that I picked up on while I was out there was dead-on and that we are meant to be these kind of unconditional lifetime soulmates for each other. To offer support and encouragement and well, unconditional love. That that is our mission so to speak for one another. That if we cultivate that in this lifetime that it would be very rewarding for us once again, and by us not going for the romance thing but honoring the Tao of it so to speak that we were obviously very in tune with the higher powers that be and that by me going out there we finished some very important unfinished business-karma between us. and now we can just be where we are and enjoy it.

I loved her message. And couldn’t wait to share it with you. it was very in tune with what I felt but could not express.

When you call when you get time I will tell you other details and what it meant to me now after a few days. because my fingers hurt now... just thought I'd fill you in a bit.

Enjoy your workshop.  good things!

Peace to you sis,
Fishy

PS – wow. A chick I'm best friends with and haven't slept with. Go figure. Fucking crazy.

PPS – I hope you don't mind if I publish this. its just too goddamned juicy not to. we’re writing a bestseller with our little non-love affair Jules I swear.